"Masking Our Queerness and Neurodivergence" with Jillian Abby

Jillian Abby, AKA @queerabby, author of "Perfectly Queer", and I share a conversation about coming out late in life queer and/or neurodivergent, the messy middle, the words we use when we talk about divorce and diagnosis, and how coming out often feels, but is NOT selfish. 
We challenge timeline narratives and social norms. According to who's time are we coming out "too late" or staying "too long" in our current relationships? According to who is this the "right way of thinking or loving"?
Jill and I share our coming out stories and we normalize how COVID, the economy, and the housing crisis complicates matters more and often extends the messy middle.
We talk about ADHD non-linear career paths and gaps in our resumes and how we hold so much shame around shifting gears and changing our minds. 
I give a shout out to one of my spiritual teachers, Rob Bell, as I reframe this phenomenon and explain the consistent "threads" that we weave throughout our lives that often, in true ADHD form, take on different shapes and forms. 
Finally, we discuss how it is NOT selfish to prioritize yourself! Coming out queer and even neurodivergent can FEEL selfish, and Jill and I honor the years of thoughtfulness and courage building that occur often before coming out. 
Jill says "It is hard to show up as the best version of ourselves if we are wearing a mask and hiding our truth."
To reach Jillian: 
https://queerabby.com/
@queerabby
Buy her book "Perfectly Queer"